{"title":"Posters","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the walls that have been blank for too long. For the rooms that need a opinion. For the people who believe that art should make you laugh, think, and possibly call your grandmother.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese are not decorative. These are \u003cstrong\u003edeclarations\u003c\/strong\u003e. Printed on premium matte paper, designed with dark Jewish humor, Eastern European grandmother energy, bureaucratic trauma, and an unreasonable amount of feelings about lox.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang one. Start a conversation. L'chaim. 🖼️\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"beach-days-poster","title":"Beach Days | A poster — Also, therapy. Cheaper than therapy.","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere right now, someone is standing at the edge of the Mediterranean, eating a pistachio gelato, thinking about absolutely nothing. They are not checking their phone. They are not meal prepping. They have no opinions about productivity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster is about that person. You are not that person. But you could look at them every morning while your sourdough starter does its thing and your coffee gets cold because you forgot about it again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe colours are warm. The light is golden. There are no notifications in this image. None. We checked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt goes well on the wall above your desk, where it will silently witness everything and say nothing. Like a good friend. Like Hannelore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eL'chaim. The sea will still be there. Probably.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🌊 Printed on premium matte paper — because you've earned something that doesn't look like it came out of an office printer:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 13x18 cm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePaper Finishing:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matte, smooth, non-reflective surface\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePaper Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 200 gsm (80 lb), thickness: 0.26 mm (10.3 mils)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSustainable Paper:\u003c\/strong\u003e FSC-certified or equivalent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShips flat. Arrives with no further instructions. You'll figure it out.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52925149643080,"sku":"38e26ba5-5f95-4abc-b8e7-3bd0c6b6dc8c","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/beach_days_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778302848"},{"product_id":"bikini-woman","title":"Bikini Season (Ongoing) | A poster — She's fine. Are you fine?","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere, a woman is standing in the sun in a bikini. She is not thinking about her inbox. She is not thinking about whether she replied to that message. She is just \u003cem\u003ethere\u003c\/em\u003e, in the light, being a person with a body and a general sense of okayness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster is about her. You are probably not her right now. But you could put her on your wall and let her remind you that such a state of being exists and is, in fact, available to you. Eventually. Probably in August.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe colours are warm. The mood is unhurried. There are no to-do lists in this image. We looked. Twice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang her above your desk, your bed, your pile of things you'll deal with later. She will not judge. She will simply stand there, in her bikini, in the sun, being an aspiration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou deserve a wall that believes in you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e☀️ Warm, sun-drenched mood — no to-do lists, no notifications, no regrets\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as unhurried as she is\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because the planet deserves okayness too\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous aspiration\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, ships flat, arrives ready to be the best thing on your wall\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePack the bag. Find the spot. Let the sea do its thing. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52927636013384,"sku":"287ad54f-f3c0-4f2c-ac2f-2df959c49da4","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/woman_bikini_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778302956"},{"product_id":"baking-is-my-love-language-premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"Baking Is My Love Language | A poster — Also, a second loaf. Just in case.","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people say \"I love you.\" You make a second loaf just in case.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou are the person who shows up with something wrapped in a tea towel. Who texts \"I made too much\" when actually you made exactly the right amount, you just needed an excuse to share it. Who has a sourdough starter with a name and a personality and, honestly, some unresolved trauma.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a hobby. This is a \u003cem\u003ecalling.\u003c\/em\u003e A slightly flour-dusted, butter-scented, deeply sincere calling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour grandmother understood. She never said much, but she fed everyone who walked through the door until they couldn't move, and that was the whole love story right there. You are continuing her work. You are the heir to something important.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster belongs in your kitchen, where the real magic happens — next to the good olive oil, slightly too close to the stove, watched over by the ghost of every babushka who ever lived.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou cut the slice. You say \"just a small piece.\" You give them half the loaf. This is the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🥖 For the ones who love loudly, in carbohydrates\u003cbr\u003e🧡 Warm background, bold typography — the color of a kitchen that always smells like something good\u003cbr\u003e🍯 Pairs with strong tea, someone saying \"eat, eat\", and a sourdough starter with unresolved trauma\u003cbr\u003e🚫 Not with a store-bought loaf. We have been very clear about this.\u003cbr\u003e🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as patient as waiting for dough to prove\u003cbr\u003e🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — babushka wasted nothing and neither do we\u003cbr\u003e📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, generational weight\u003cbr\u003e✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises, no store-bought\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFeed the starter. Preheat the oven. Make the second loaf. Wrap it in a tea towel. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52964595401032,"sku":"614e0a88-1d13-44ad-9729-ed8764c7be88","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/baking_is_my_love_language_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303234"},{"product_id":"40-is-the-new-30-premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"40 is the new 30 — The Poster That Knows Things","description":"\u003cp\u003eMy grandmother turned 40 in 1974 and never once mentioned it. She simply made more bread, added an extra spoonful of mayo to everything, and declared the decade \"fine.\" She was not fine. She was thriving. There is a difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for the person who has arrived at 40 and is choosing — consciously, defiantly, with a glass of something fermented — to reframe the whole situation. 40 is not a crisis. 40 is a sourdough starter that finally knows what it's doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it in the kitchen. Hang it in the bathroom where you do your best thinking. Hang it wherever you need a small, typographic reminder that you are not declining — you are \u003cem\u003eproofing\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎂 For the person who has arrived at 40 and is choosing to reframe the whole situation\u003cbr\u003e\n🧡 Warm background, bold typography — the color of a decade that finally knows what it's doing\u003cbr\u003e\n🥖 Pairs with sourdough, extra mayo, and zero apologies\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, like a person who has nothing left to prove\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — babushka would approve. She cared about forests. Also mayo.\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small enough to be modest, large enough to make a point\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, arrives ready to frame, ready to gift, ready to devastate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eTurn 40. Declare the decade fine. Add an extra spoonful of mayo. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52981169258824,"sku":"9ebcc0a7-8686-4215-b03c-c02e1d8c13b7","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/40_is_the_new_30_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303373"},{"product_id":"latkes-and-gefilte-premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"Latkes \u0026 Gefilte Poster — For the Wall That Deserves a Little Schmaltz","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour walls have been through a lot. They've seen your sourdough fail to rise (unlike Jesus, it did not come back on the third day). They've witnessed the mayonnaise experiments. They've heard the babushka stories.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's time to give them something beautiful.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eLatkes \u0026amp; Gefilte\u003c\/em\u003e poster is here — equal parts dark humor, Eastern European warmth, and the kind of art that makes your guests say \u003cem\u003e\"wait, is that... funny? I think I'm crying? No, I'm laughing. Both.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your kitchen. Hang it next to your sourdough starter (the one you named and talk to). Hang it wherever your inner babushka feels most at home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e❖️ Certified conversation starter at dinner parties\u003cbr\u003e\n🥔 Pairs beautifully with latkes, existential dread, and homemade mayo\u003cbr\u003e\n🥖 Will not rise on its own — unlike your starter, this one stays flat. That's the point.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — heavy enough to carry the weight of generational trauma\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — soft and unshiny, like a grandmother's hug\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, big feelings\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, ships flat, arrives ready for the kitchen wall\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMake the latkes. Argue about the gefilte. Eat something. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52983499915592,"sku":"68788e2c-093b-41e0-8a3f-cfd43d30a07b","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/latkes_and_gefilte_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303466"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"'In Mayo We Trust' Poster — A Declaration of Faith for the Homemade Mayonnaise Believer","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people have religion. You have a whisk, an egg yolk, and an unshakeable belief that store-bought mayonnaise is a moral failure.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eIn Mayo We Trust\u003c\/em\u003e poster is your manifesto. Your altar. Your gentle but firm announcement to every guest who enters your kitchen that things are done differently here — slowly, lovingly, and with a lot of olive oil drizzled in drop by drop like a prayer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it where it belongs: above the counter where the magic happens. Next to the sourdough starter that didn't rise this week (or last week, but we don't talk about that). Across from the jar of pickles fermenting quietly on the windowsill like a babushka's silent wisdom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is not just a poster. This is a lifestyle statement in orange. A warm, slightly unhinged love letter to the art of making things from scratch — because your grandmother didn't survive everything she survived so you could buy Hellmann's.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🥚 In Mayo We Trust — the only creed that matters in this kitchen\u003cbr\u003e\n🍊 Orange, warm, and bold — like a good egg yolk, like your personality\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, deeply trustworthy\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because even your wall art has values\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous conviction\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — one for you, one for your mother, one for the jar. No minimums.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eDrizzle the oil. Trust the emulsion. Whisk boldly. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52986541408584,"sku":"f17ece34-28d9-49fe-a197-8064386efe8a","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/in_mayo_we_trust_orange_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303573"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-may-your-sourdough-rise-like-jesus-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"'May Your Sourdough Rise Like Jesus' Poster — A Blessing for Every Baker Who Has Known Suffering","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe rose on the third day. Your sourdough is on day eleven and still flat. And yet — you believe.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis poster is a prayer. A blessing. A warm hand on the shoulder of every person who has ever stood over a bowl at 6am, whispering encouragement to a lump of flour and water like it can hear them. (It can. It just doesn't care.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eMay Your Sourdough Rise Like Jesus\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for the faithful. The ones who feed their starter religiously, name it something meaningful, and feel genuine grief when it doesn't perform. The ones who understand that baking sourdough is not a hobby — it is a spiritual practice with a 40% success rate and a 100% commitment to the bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your kitchen as a daily reminder that resurrection is possible. That patience is a virtue. That even Jesus had to wait three days, and your starter just needs a little more warmth and maybe a different flour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🍞 A blessing for bakers, skeptics, and everyone in between\u003cbr\u003e\n✝️ Theologically flexible — works for sourdough of all faiths and hydration levels\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with homemade mayo, dark humor, and a babushka who told you this would happen\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, and full of grace\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because the earth also deserves a blessing\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, miraculous energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum spiritual impact\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFeed the starter. Trust the process. Wait three days if you must. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52986650984776,"sku":"fdc05e40-920c-4429-a429-3123285ed050","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/may_your_sourdough_rise_like_jesus_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303668"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-drunk-texting-is-my-love-language-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"'Drunk Texting Is My Love Language' Poster — For the Person Who Expresses Feelings Best After One Glass of Wine","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people say \"I love you\" with flowers. Some say it with brisket. You say it at 11:47pm with a typo and zero regrets.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eDrunk Texting Is My Love Language\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a celebration of emotional honesty in its purest, most unfiltered form. The kind your therapist calls \"a pattern\" and your friends call \"iconic.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause let's be honest — sober you is very composed. Sober you feeds the sourdough starter on schedule, makes mayonnaise from scratch, and responds to messages with appropriate punctuation. But late-night you? Late-night you has things to SAY. Feelings to EXPRESS. People to check in on who absolutely did not ask to be checked in on.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis poster belongs in your kitchen, your living room, or anywhere you need a gentle reminder that vulnerability is beautiful — even when it arrives in all lowercase with three question marks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e📱 Drunk texting — the love language your grandmother practiced via telegram\u003cbr\u003e\n🍷 Pairs perfectly with one glass of natural wine and a lot of feelings\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Also compatible with homemade mayo, sourdough anxiety, and babushka energy\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, deeply emotionally available\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because even your chaotic love has values\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, big feelings, zero autocorrect\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum emotional impact\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSend the text. Feel your feelings. No regrets. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Horizontal","offer_id":52993628307784,"sku":"9e7872f5-d688-441f-8801-cc5b188317c8","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/drunk_texting_is_my_love_language_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303796"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-i-overcame-my-dentist-phobia-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"'I Overcame My Dentist Phobia' Poster — More Courage Than a Soldier, More Trauma Than a Sourdough That Never Rose","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou didn't climb Everest. You didn't run a marathon. You sat in that chair, opened your mouth, and did not cry. This deserves a poster.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eI Overcame My Dentist Phobia\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a monument to one of humanity's most underrated acts of courage. Because anyone can do hard things when they're glamorous. But sitting under that light, with that sound, and that smell, while a stranger asks you questions you cannot answer because their entire hand is in your mouth — that is true bravery.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour grandmother survived things we don't talk about. You survived the dentist. Both are valid. Both deserve recognition.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your bathroom as a daily reminder of what you're capable of. Hang it in your kitchen next to the sourdough starter (which, unlike you, still hasn't faced its fears). Hang it anywhere you need to remember: you are stronger than you think, and your teeth are proof.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🦷 A certified triumph — bigger than it sounds, smaller than a root canal\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤❤️ Black background, red typography — dramatic, bold, appropriately intense\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with post-dentist soup, homemade mayo on soft bread, and quiet pride\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth finish, zero drilling required\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — good for the earth, good for your nervous system\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous personal victory\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum validation\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou showed up. You opened wide. You overcame. Hang the poster. L'chaim — and also please floss. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52993652687176,"sku":"d0ff8d48-cf89-4586-a2c0-e1d4b8f39d43","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/i_overcame_my_dentist_phobia_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778303895"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-im-a-princess-my-dentist-gave-me-crowns-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"'I'm a Princess. My Dentist Gave Me Crowns' Poster — Royalty Is a State of Mind \u0026 a Dental Procedure","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome princesses are born. Some are made. And some sit in a reclining chair under fluorescent lights and emerge, forty minutes later, with crowns and a new sense of self.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eI'm a Princess. My Dentist Gave Me Crowns\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a declaration of royalty for the modern woman — the one who didn't inherit a tiara but did inherit a complicated relationship with her molars and the absolute determination to come out on top.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour babushka didn't have dental insurance. She had resilience and a very firm jaw. You have both of those things AND crowns. You are, objectively, the most evolved version of your lineage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your bathroom where you brush your royal teeth every morning. Hang it in your kitchen next to the sourdough that still hasn't risen (it too is waiting for its crown moment). Hang it anywhere you need a reminder that suffering can be glamorous, and that you, specifically, have earned your title.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e👑 Officially a princess — paperwork filed, crowns installed, tiara pending\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸❤️ Pink background, red typography — bold, warm, unapologetically royal\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with post-crown soft foods, homemade mayo, and quiet dignity\u003cbr\u003e\n🦷 Two crowns minimum to qualify — you've more than earned this poster\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, fit for royalty\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — an eco-conscious princess is still a princess\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous royal energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum majesty\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLong may you reign. Long may your crowns hold. Hang the poster. L'chaim, Your Highness. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52993675034952,"sku":"c62536f1-bc9e-462f-b571-4f2bd0c20268","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/I_m_a_princess_my_dentist_gave_me_crowns_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304004"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-matza-tastes-like-cardboard","title":"'Matza Tastes Like Cardboard' Poster — The Truth Nobody at the Seder Table Was Brave Enough to Say","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEvery year. Every Passover. Eight days of eating what is essentially a cracker that gave up on itself. And every year, everyone smiles and says \"it's not so bad\" and every year, they are lying.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eMatza Tastes Like Cardboard\u003c\/em\u003e poster is the honest friend at the table. The one who loves the tradition, respects the history, lights the candles, makes the brisket from scratch — and still, quietly, privately, admits the truth: matza tastes like cardboard and we all know it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is not a complaint. This is a love letter. Because you eat it anyway. Eight days, every year, without fail — because your grandmother ate it, and her grandmother ate it, and somewhere along the line this became who you are. Cardboard and all.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your kitchen as a monument to the most honest thing anyone has ever said about Passover. Next to the sourdough starter you had to put to sleep for eight days (it did not rise like Jesus — it just waited, like a good Jewish boy). Next to the homemade mayo you made because at least that brings joy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e❖️ The bravest Passover statement since the Exodus\u003cbr\u003e\n🟦 Blue background, white typography — clean, crisp, and honest as a piece of matza\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with charoset, existential reflection, and homemade mayo on literally anything else\u003cbr\u003e\n🚫 Do NOT put cream cheese on the pastrami. We are watching.\u003cbr\u003e\n🍞 A tribute to eight days of solidarity with your ancestors and your digestive system\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth finish, nothing like matza\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because the earth deserves better than cardboard too\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous cultural honesty\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum truth-telling\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNext year in Jerusalem. But maybe with better bread. Not with the pastrami. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52993725563208,"sku":"3bc7a366-f4dd-43c4-9c73-fcbd583a582d","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/matza_tastes_like_cardboard_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304113"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-lox-bagel-home-13x18-cm-5x7","title":"'Lox. Bagel. Home.' Poster — A Complete Philosophy of Life in Three Words \u0026 Zero Therapy Sessions","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people need a vision board. Some people need a therapist. Some people need a poster that says exactly what home means, in the fewest possible words, with maximum emotional accuracy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLox. Bagel. Home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat's it. That's the whole thing. That's Sunday morning. That's the smell of your bubbe's kitchen. That's the feeling of arriving somewhere you belong, taking off your coat, and knowing that somewhere in this house there is smoked salmon and a bagel and someone who loves you enough to have bought both.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eLox. Bagel. Home.\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for the people who understand that food is not just food — it is geography, it is memory, it is the Eastern European roots that followed your family across borders and oceans and somehow always ended up at the table. It is the bubbe who didn't have much but always had something to put on the bread. It is the sourdough you make now, from scratch, because you are carrying something forward even if you can't always name it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your kitchen. Hang it in your dining room. Hang it anywhere that needs to feel like home — which is to say, anywhere that needs lox.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e💛 Lox. Bagel. Home. — the holy trinity of belonging\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 Black background, white typography — bold, clean, and deeply correct\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with cream cheese, capers, a schmear of homemade mayo if you're feeling adventurous\u003cbr\u003e\n🍞 No sourdough during Passover — we don't make the rules, we just hang them on the wall\u003cbr\u003e\n🎁 Chrismukkah-approved gift for every member of your mishpacha, near and far\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as comforting as a bagel on a Sunday\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because home should be good to the earth too\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous feeling of belonging\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum heimish energy\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWherever you are, whatever you're carrying — may you always find your way back to the lox. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52993778090312,"sku":"24054a60-faf1-4c43-ac6a-a9ae3f6b1387","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/lox_bagel_home_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304199"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-queen-of-polls","title":"'Queen of Polls' Poster — She Didn't Wait for a Crown. She Put It to a Vote.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe came to LinkedIn with dark Jewish humor, homemade mayonnaise, and a sourdough starter that refused to rise. She stayed because the polls were undefeated.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHer name is \u003cstrong\u003ePhyllis Tulazsewski\u003c\/strong\u003e. And she is, by her own declaration and the overwhelming consensus of her followers, the Queen of Polls.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eQueen of Polls\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a monument to one woman's contribution to the internet: the art of asking the questions nobody knew they needed answered. Should she day drink on Saturday or Sunday? (Both options received serious consideration.) Is mayo a condiment or a lifestyle? (Mayo appeared five times in the same poll. With different emojis. All five were valid.) Would she marry an American solely for the air conditioning, given that Germany simply does not believe in it? (The people voted. The people understood.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHer followers showed up. They always show up. And when she doesn't post a poll for a while, they ask. They need to know. They have opinions and nowhere to put them and she, the Queen, gave them a home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for everyone who voted. Everyone who chose mayo — any of the five versions. Everyone who has ever refreshed LinkedIn on a Saturday morning hoping there's a new poll, because it is, genuinely, the highlight of their week and they are not ashamed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e👑 Self-proclaimed Queen of Polls — the title was earned, the crown was always hers\u003cbr\u003e\n🟦 Blue background, white typography — regal, bold, algorithmically blessed\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Mayo appeared five times in one poll. Five. With different emojis. All correct.\u003cbr\u003e\n❄️ Would relocate for AC. Has not relocated. Still posting polls about it.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, worthy of a queen\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — even royalty has values\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous LinkedIn energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum poll participation\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLong may she reign. 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CEO of Joyful Objects since the day she arrived and sat on the laptop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eCEO Cat\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a tribute to Shiri — the visionary leader who sets the strategic direction of this quirky shop entirely through naps, slow blinks, and the occasional 3am sprint across the kitchen that nobody asked for but everyone respected.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHer management style is unconventional. She has never attended a meeting she didn't call herself. She has reviewed every sourdough attempt from a safe distance and found them all beneath her. She has opinions about the homemade mayo (she watched the process once, unblinking, and walked away — a review in itself). She has never voted in a LinkedIn poll but her presence is felt in all of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnder her leadership, Joyful Objects has thrived. Mostly because she allows it to. She could shut the whole operation down with one well-placed sit on the keyboard. She chooses not to. This is called grace.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is only one force in this universe more powerful than Shiri. The German Finanzamt. And they better not dare to shut down her shop. She has napped through worse. She will nap through them too. But it would be noted.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🐈‍⬛ Shiri — CEO, visionary, black cat, undefeated\u003cbr\u003e\n🇩🇪 Only the Finanzamt outranks her. Marginally. She disputes this.\u003cbr\u003e\n🧱🖤 Orange background, black typography — bold, warm, impossible to ignore (just like her)\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Has never eaten homemade mayo. Has judged it extensively.\u003cbr\u003e\n🍞 Sourdough rises or it doesn't. Shiri does not care either way. She is above it.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, CEO-approved\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — Shiri supports the environment when it suits her\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous executive presence\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, Shiri's approval pending\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eIn Shiri we trust. The Finanzamt may send letters. Shiri will sit on them. Don't sit in her chair. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52994472247624,"sku":"251b3fc7-6946-45db-903a-a0ef1407fa00","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/ceo_cat_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304597"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-mailbox-trauma","title":"'Mailbox Trauma' Poster — For Everyone Who Opens Their Post With the Energy of Someone Defusing a Bomb","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt's just a mailbox. It's just paper. It's just a letter from an institution that has dedicated itself, with remarkable consistency, to ruining your Tuesday.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eMailbox Trauma\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for the freelancers. The self-employed. The brave and slightly unhinged souls who looked at the German bureaucratic system and said \u003cem\u003e\"yes, I will operate within this\"\u003c\/em\u003e and have been paying for that decision ever since — in Krankenkasse premiums, in Finanzamt correspondence, in the specific kind of burnout that only comes from opening an envelope and finding four pages of dense German legalese that may or may not mean you owe money to someone for something you did or didn't do in a year that has already emotionally destroyed you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe mailbox is not safe. It has never been safe. Every day it sits there, full of potential catastrophe, and every day you approach it with the energy of someone defusing a bomb — slowly, carefully, already grieving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd yet. You turn it into art. Because that's what a Jewish soul does with trauma. It makes it funny. It makes it a poster. It hangs it on the wall in pink and black and says: \u003cem\u003eI see you, mailbox. I am not afraid of you.\u003c\/em\u003e (This is a lie. But it's a beautiful one.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e📬 Mailbox Trauma — a diagnosis, a lifestyle, a very German experience\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸🖤 Pink background, black typography — soft on the outside, existential on the inside\u003cbr\u003e\n🇩🇪 Made by a freelancer who has survived a decade of Finanzamt correspondence and mandatory overpriced health insurance. Barely.\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with homemade mayo, sourdough therapy, and a very large glass of wine after checking the post\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the Finanzamt\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — the earth is fine. You are less fine. But the paper is great.\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous post-traumatic energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, unlike your Krankenkasse contributions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHang it by the door. Take a breath before you check the mailbox. You have survived every letter so far. You will survive this one too. Probably. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52994718925128,"sku":"9d320cea-2383-4bc4-a51e-401c0aaba05d","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/mailbox_trauma_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304678"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-50-shades-of-lox","title":"'50 Shades of Lox' Poster — A Love Story. A Lifestyle. A Very Good Reason to Go to the Deli.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou've read the book. 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It is Eastern European roots translated into something pink and silky and perfect on a plate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt pairs with homemade mayo if you're feeling adventurous — just not with the pastrami, we've been through this, we know the rules. It does not require Passover restrictions. It is available year-round. It is, in every shade, magnificent.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e💛 50 shades — from barely-there blush to deep, smoky commitment\u003cbr\u003e\n🧱🖤 Orange background, black typography — warm, bold, the color of a Sunday well spent\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs with cream cheese, capers, homemade mayo, and zero regrets\u003cbr\u003e\n🚫 Not with the pastrami. We have been very clear about this.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as silky as the subject matter\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because the ocean deserves respect, almost as much as the lox\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous depth of feeling\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, infinite shades\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eGo to the deli. Order the lox. Hang the poster. Live your best life. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52994874507592,"sku":"c72ecf9c-830e-4239-8fb4-cd646b8179e3","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/50_shades_of_lox_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304769"},{"product_id":"fine-art-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-a-pretty-smart-woman-might-come-with-some-kind-of-craziness-handle-it-or-get-over-it","title":"'A Pretty \u0026 Smart Woman Might Come With Some Kind of Craziness. Handle It or Get Over It.' Fine Art Poster — Consider This Your Official Warning \u0026 Invitation.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe told you upfront. She put it in writing. 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She is, in every possible way, worth it — and she is done pretending otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHandle it or get over it. Those are the options. Both are valid. Only one is correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e💅 A manifesto, a warning label, and a love letter all in one\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸❤️ Pink background, red typography — soft on the outside, absolutely not on the inside\u003cbr\u003e\n🎨 Fine art giclée printing, 12 colors — because she deserves vivid, accurate, stunning depth\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with homemade mayo, dark humor, and the quiet confidence of a woman who has been through it\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm smooth matte paper — glare-free, FSC-certified, unapologetic\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eGive it to yourself. Give it to her. Hang it where it can be seen by anyone who needs the reminder. L'chaim — to the pretty, the smart, the gloriously complicated. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52995144745288,"sku":"3507d6a3-0aaf-4b30-b8d0-d3b0fa3d08fa","price":34.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/a_pretty_and_smart_woman_comes_with_craziness_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304870"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-gefilte-fish-factory","title":"'Gefilte Fish Factory' Poster — Where Tradition Is Made, One Questionable Ball at a Time","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNobody asked what was in it. Nobody has ever asked what is in it. The gefilte fish arrives at the Seder table and it is eaten, because that is what you do, because that is what your bubbe did, because some things in life you simply do not question.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eGefilte Fish Factory\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a monument to one of Ashkenazi cuisine's most polarising, most beloved, most deeply confusing contributions to the world of food. It is grey. It is round. It comes in a jar with a jelly that nobody talks about. It has been on every Jewish holiday table since before anyone can remember, and it will be there long after all of us are gone, floating quietly in its brine, eternal and unjudged.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for the people who eat it without complaint. For the people who eat it with complaint but eat it anyway. For the people who grew up watching their bubbe make it from scratch — the whole fish, the grinding, the shaping, the smell that filled the entire apartment building and announced to the neighbourhood that Shabbat was coming whether they liked it or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is not lox. It is not pastrami. It is not sourdough — it does not rise, it does not aspire, it simply is. And there is something deeply, profoundly Jewish about that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e💛 Gefilte fish — grey, round, eternal, ours\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤🧱 Reddish background, black typography — warm, bold, factory-floor chic\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs with horseradish, existential acceptance, and the knowledge that your bubbe made it better\u003cbr\u003e\n🍞 Does not rise like Jesus. Does not rise at all. It simply floats. This is its power.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the jelly in the jar\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — the fish would have wanted it this way\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous ancestral weight\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, infinite gefilte\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eEat it. Don't ask questions. Hang the poster. 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The sourdough also helped.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, dependable — just like the dentist\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because good things should last\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous emotional accuracy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no cancellations, no no-shows\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBook the appointment. Trust the dentist. Hang the poster. You already know what you know. 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He ate every last bite.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the poster for him. For all of them. 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Call it what you need. Hang the poster. Your grandfather would have approved — and if he didn't, he would have eaten it anyway. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52997406228808,"sku":"d8f9523c-7e7b-4020-993d-425211a84a16","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/accidentally_kosher_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778305453"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-pickles-dill-mayo","title":"'Pickles. Dill. Mayo. Sourdough. Challah. Gefilte. Schmaltz. Latkes.' Poster — A Complete Vocabulary. A Whole Identity. A Very Full Table.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people have a vision board. You have this. Eight words. A complete universe. 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Sourdough — which rose eventually, like Jesus but with more flour and more waiting and more talking to the starter at 11pm. Challah — braided, golden, the bread that makes Friday feel like Friday. Gefilte — grey, round, eternal, ours, no questions. Schmaltz — rendered chicken fat, the original butter, the thing your cardiologist doesn't know about. Latkes — fried in oil, crispy at the edges, the reason Hanukkah exists.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is not a shopping list. This is a love letter. This is heritage on a wall.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🥒 Eight words. A complete Ashkenazi identity.\u003cbr\u003e\n🧱 Orange background, white typography — warm, bold, the color of a kitchen that knows what it's doing\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Mayo is homemade. This is non-negotiable. You know this.\u003cbr\u003e\n🍞 Sourdough rose. Eventually. 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She made it while simultaneously feeding you a bowl of soup you didn't ask for, telling you that you look thin, and judging your life choices without saying a single word out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBabushka mayo is not a condiment. It is a \u003cstrong\u003eworldview\u003c\/strong\u003e. It is Eastern European grandmother energy distilled into a jar. It is the taste of being loved in a way that is slightly terrifying and completely irreplaceable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for everyone who grew up in a kitchen that smelled like dill and destiny. For everyone who knows that homemade is not a trend — it is a \u003cstrong\u003ecalling\u003c\/strong\u003e. For everyone who is, quietly and without apology, becoming their babushka. One jar at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt pairs beautifully with sourdough that rose like it had something to prove. It does not pair with store-bought anything. Babushka is watching.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🥄 One egg. Some oil. 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Life made sense.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat time is over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe döner has become a philosophical crisis wrapped in flatbread. €8.50 in Berlin. €9.00 in Frankfurt. Rumours of €10 that nobody wants to confirm because confirmation would mean acceptance and we are not ready to accept. The economists have opinions. The politicians have opinions. The man behind the counter has a new price list laminated in plastic because he is also tired of explaining it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody asked the sourdough. The sourdough is also rising. Everything is rising. That is the theme of our era.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Döner Inflation poster is for everyone who remembers. Who grieves quietly. Who orders it anyway because what is the alternative — a sad desk sandwich? You are not an animal. You pay the €8.50. You do not make eye contact with your bank account. You eat standing up, as God intended, with sauce on your jacket, as is traditional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is Germany. This is 2026. The döner costs what it costs. 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L'chaim — and may the sauce be generous even when nothing else is. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53019736703304,"sku":"ad426601-dd51-444a-807f-b338b22bcce7","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/doner_inflation_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778305936"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-hummus-olives-pita","title":"'Hummus, Olives, Pita' Poster — The Holy Trinity. No Debate. No Substitutions.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThere are things in this world that simply belong together. Things that require no explanation, no justification, no fusion experiment, no modernist reinterpretation with microgreens and a smear. Hummus. Olives. Pita. This is not a suggestion. This is a fact older than most governments and considerably more stable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eHummus, Olives, Pita\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for the people who know. Who have stood at a table somewhere in the Middle East, or in a kitchen in Darmstadt, or at a Friday night dinner that started at 7 and ended at midnight, and understood without being told that this combination is not a starter. It is a philosophy. It is a way of being in the world.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe hummus must be homemade. Or from the good place. Not the supermarket tub — we do not speak of the supermarket tub. The olives must be the wrinkled ones, the ones that look like they have lived, the ones your bubbe would have recognised. The pita must be warm. If the pita is not warm, we start again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt does not require a recipe. It does not require an occasion. It requires only a table, people you love, and the quiet confidence of someone who has never once doubted the menu.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e💙 Hummus, Olives, Pita — a philosophy, a Friday night, a non-negotiable\u003cbr\u003e\n🟦 Blue background, white typography — the color of Mediterranean skies and absolute culinary certainty\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs with warm pita, the good olive oil, homemade mayo on the side if you're feeling adventurous, and people who don't ask questions\u003cbr\u003e\n🚫 Not with cold pita. We have been very clear about this.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as unhurried as a proper mezze\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because the olive tree has been here longer than us and deserves respect\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous conviction\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises, no cold pita\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarm the pita. 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It receives a letter informing it that the form was the wrong form and the correct form is available only in person, between 9am and 11am, on Tuesdays, excluding public holidays, of which there are many.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd it goes back. On a Tuesday. Between 9 and 11. Because what is the alternative.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eGerman Suffering\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who has lived here long enough to understand. Who has stood at the Bürgeramt and felt something shift inside them. Who has learned the word \u003cem\u003eSpäti\u003c\/em\u003e not as a convenience but as a lifeline. Who has made peace with the fact that the internet will be slower than expected, the appointment will be later than scheduled, and the weather will be exactly as grey as forecasted, always, without exception, forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are not complaining. You are \u003cem\u003edocumenting.\u003c\/em\u003e There is a difference. The Germans themselves will understand. They will nod. They will say nothing. That is also a form of solidarity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🖤 German Suffering — a diagnosis, a lifestyle, a love letter to a country that makes everything slightly harder than necessary and somehow worth it anyway\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 Black background, white typography — the color of a November afternoon in Berlin and quiet, dignified despair\u003cbr\u003e\n💬 Pairs with the Freelancing From Hell poster, the Mailbox Trauma tote, a Späti beer, and the specific silence of someone who has just received another letter\u003cbr\u003e\n🥄 Homemade mayo was made during the waiting period. The Bürgeramt was not consulted.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the German bureaucratic process\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because unlike the system, this poster gives something back\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous catharsis\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no wrong forms, no Tuesday appointments required\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHang it next to your Finanzamt correspondence folder. See it on a grey Tuesday morning. Feel completely understood. You are still here. You are still filing. That is, frankly, heroic. 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You thought: I will feed it, I will love it, I will provide a warm home and occasional chin scratches and in return I will receive companionship and perhaps some light purring on difficult evenings.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat was before you understood the arrangement.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eCat Slave\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who lives with a cat and has slowly, over time, come to understand who is actually in charge. Who has rearranged their sleeping position so as not to disturb the cat. Who has gotten up at 3am not because they wanted to but because the cat wanted them to, and the cat's wanting is not a request, it is a directive, and you have learned — through experience, through consequence, through the specific look a cat gives you when you have failed — that the directive is followed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou do not own the cat. You have never owned the cat. The cat owns the warm spot on the bed, the best chair, the patch of sunlight on the floor, and approximately 70% of your emotional bandwidth. You own the food bill and the lint roller and a heart so full of this small unreasonable creature that you cannot imagine a single day without it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is not a complaint. This is a confession. This is also, somehow, the best thing that ever happened to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🟠 Cat Slave — a diagnosis, a lifestyle, a completely voluntary captivity\u003cbr\u003e\n🧱 Orange background, white typography — warm, bold, the color of a cat in a sunbeam judging you\u003cbr\u003e\n💬 Pairs with the cat on your lap, the cat on your keyboard, the cat sitting directly on the thing you were just using\u003cbr\u003e\n🥄 Homemade mayo was made while the cat watched. The cat was not impressed. The cat is never impressed.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike your cat's opinions of you\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — the cat does not care about sustainability but you do and that is enough\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous truth\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, unlike your cat's demands, which are infinite\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHang it where the cat can see it. The cat will sit in front of it. That is also a form of approval. Feed the cat. Warm the spot. Accept your role. 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The kind of milk that a land flowing with it would actually produce — not the pale, watery, 0.1% ghost of milk that sits sadly in the back of the fridge next to the decaf and the low-fat cream cheese and the other signs that something has gone very wrong.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bible did not say \u003cem\u003ea land flowing with semi-skimmed.\u003c\/em\u003e The Bible had standards. The Bible understood that fat is not the enemy. Fat is the point. Fat is where the flavour lives, where the vitamins are, where the warmth is. Fat is, frankly, biblical.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eFull Fat. No Decaf. Biblical Milk.\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who has made peace with whole milk and will not be going back. Who puts butter in things without apologising. Who drinks their coffee with cream — real cream, not the oat situation — and feels, with every sip, that they are living correctly and in alignment with ancient wisdom and also basic common sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is also, not coincidentally, for everyone who has ever been offered decaf and felt a small but significant part of themselves die. Decaf is not coffee. Decaf is a decision that reveals character. We do not serve decaf here. We do not date men who drink decaf. We have moved on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🥛 Full Fat. No Decaf. Biblical Milk. — a philosophy, a dietary framework, a dealbreaker\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸❤️ Pink background, red typography — bold, warm, the color of someone who eats properly and sleeps well\u003cbr\u003e\n☀️ Ray Peat approved — OJ, liver, oysters, eggs, cheese, and milk. Always milk. Always full fat.\u003cbr\u003e\n☕ No decaf. Not now. Not ever. Not in this house. Not in this poster. Not in this life.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, like someone who has never once doubted their milk choice\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — the land flows with milk AND environmental responsibility\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous conviction\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises, no skimmed anything\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eDrink the milk. Skip the decaf. Honor the fat. Hang the poster. 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The anchovy has always known why.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt does not ask for permission. It does not wait to be invited. It goes in. It dissolves. It becomes everything. And if you think you don't like anchovies, you have almost certainly eaten anchovies — in the Caesar dressing, in the Worcestershire sauce, in the pasta that made you close your eyes and feel, for a moment, that life is genuinely good and you cannot explain why. That was the anchovy. It was there the whole time. Negotiating nothing. Winning everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eAnchovy Doesn't Negotiate\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who understands that the small, intense, deeply misunderstood things are often the ones doing the most important work. Who puts anchovies in things without announcing it. Who knows that umami is not a trend, it is an ancient truth, and the anchovy has been delivering it since before any of us had opinions about food.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is also for everyone who is, themselves, a little bit anchovy. Small but mighty. Salty when necessary. Impossible to ignore once you've made your presence known. Dissolving into situations and somehow making everything better. Not negotiating. 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A letter in a very official envelope with your name on it, slightly wrong, and an Aktenzeichen that means nothing to you but apparently means everything to them, and a deadline that was technically last Tuesday, and a requirement to submit a form that references another form that can only be obtained in person, on Wednesdays, between 9 and 11, but not the second Wednesday of the month, and not in August, and you will need to bring the original, not a copy, and also a copy, and also something that proves you exist, and also patience, which by this point you no longer have.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou have survived the Finanzamt. The Bürgeramt. The Krankenkasse. The Anmeldung that required an appointment that required a form that required an address that required the Anmeldung. You have waited in rooms with number tickets and fluorescent lighting and a man behind a desk who looked at your documents for a very long time and then told you, quietly, that this was the wrong office. The right office is in a different building. It closes at 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eGerman Bureaucracy Trauma\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who has lived this. Who has a folder — a very thick folder — of letters they don't fully understand but cannot throw away because what if. Who has learned the word \u003cem\u003eWiderspruch\u003c\/em\u003e not in a classroom but in a moment of pure desperate necessity. Who has filled the form, submitted the form, received confirmation of the form, and then received a letter asking for the form again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are not alone. You are not imagining it. It is, in fact, exactly as complicated as it feels. And somehow you are still here. Still filing. Still surviving. Absolutely traumatised but technically compliant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🇩🇪 German Bureaucracy Trauma — a diagnosis, a memoir, a shared experience\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸 Pink background, white typography — soft and pretty on the outside, existential dread on the inside\u003cbr\u003e\n📨 Pairs with the Mailbox Trauma poster and tote, Freelancing from Hell, and Gaslit by Bureaucracy — the full German administrative horror wall\u003cbr\u003e\n📁 Perfect for expats, freelancers, immigrants, anyone who has received a Finanzamt letter, and all Germans who know this is simply how it is\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the German bureaucratic process which reflects everything back at you, wrong\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — environmentally responsible, unlike the amount of paper the Finanzamt has sent you\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous emotional weight\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no wrong forms, no Aktenzeichen required\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFill the form. Submit the form. Receive a letter about the form. Hang this poster. Breathe. You are doing your best. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53024823509320,"sku":"709c6bb0-212b-472e-a130-043859080773","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/german_bureaucracy_trauma_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778306609"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-guilt-is-my-love-language","title":"'Guilt Is My Love Language' Poster — I Love You. Have You Eaten? You Look Thin. I'm Just Saying.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt starts at baptism. Or possibly before. The priest pours the water, your grandmother cries, and somewhere in the universe a small but permanent account is opened in your name — the guilt account — and from this moment forward it will only ever accumulate interest.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBy First Communion you already know the drill. The confession box. The Act of Contrition. The priest behind the screen who has heard everything and is, frankly, not surprised. You confess. You are forgiven. You walk out into the sunshine feeling clean and new and completely certain that by Tuesday you will be back to your usual self and will need to return. This is the system. The system works. The system has been working since 33 AD and it is not changing for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe guilt comes with the territory. It comes with the rosary in the drawer, the palm cross behind the picture frame, the Saint Anthony statue that gets turned to face the wall when he fails to locate your keys. It comes with your mother's sigh — the specific sigh, the one that contains an entire homily — and the question that is not a question: \u003cem\u003eyou're going out like that?\u003c\/em\u003e It comes with missing Mass and knowing, somewhere deep and Catholic, that you are going to mention it at the next confession even though you are not sure when the next confession will be because it has been, if you are honest, quite a long time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut here is the thing about Catholic guilt. It is not cruelty. It is love. It is the love of people who light candles for you, who put your name on the prayer list, who have a Mass said for your intentions without telling you, who worry about your soul with the same intensity that other people worry about your cholesterol. The guilt is the love. It has always been the love. And if you were raised on it you would not, if you are honest, have it any other way.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your kitchen. Your mother will see it and say nothing. But she will know. And she will be pleased. And she will tell you you hung it slightly crooked.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e💖 Guilt Is My Love Language — a confession, a love letter, a family portrait\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤🌸 Black background, pink typography — dark on the outside, warm and loving on the inside, exactly like the guilt\u003cbr\u003e\n🕯️ Perfect for lapsed Catholics, devoted Catholics, cultural Catholics, anyone with a Jewish mother, an Italian grandmother, an Irish aunt, or anyone who has ever been loved very loudly and slightly too much\u003cbr\u003e\n🇮🇪🇮🇱🇵🇱 Universal — crosses all borders, all denominations, all family configurations\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the guilt which reflects everything\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — responsible, conscientious, your mother would approve\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous emotional resonance\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no judgment, no sighing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHang it. Call your mother. Eat something. Put a jacket on. The guilt is the love. The love is the guilt. L'chaim. Amen. Whatever applies. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53024942063944,"sku":"47b46a8a-42ca-4440-8918-f3130fa1552c","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/guilt_is_my_love_language_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778306694"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-i-gotta-confess","title":"'I Gotta Confess' Poster — Bless Me Father, It Has Been A While. Quite A While. A Very Long While.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt has been — and you are doing the maths right now, which is itself a sign that you already know the answer is not good — it has been some time since the last confession. Not an alarming amount of time. Well. Perhaps a slightly alarming amount of time. The point is you have been meaning to go. You have thought about going. You drove past the church on a Tuesday and thought: soon. That was last year. Possibly the year before.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe list, if you were to write it down, which you will not, has grown. Not dramatically. But it has grown. There is the thing from March. The thing you said about your colleague that was accurate but perhaps uncharitable. The Sunday you slept through Mass and told yourself it was a rest day and God would understand, which He probably does, but still. The amount of times you took the Lord's name in vain during that one particularly bad week of German bureaucracy. The cheese. You know about the cheese. The priest will also know about the cheese once you get there, which is part of why you have not yet gotten there.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut here is the thing. The confession box is not a courtroom. There is no cross-examination. There is no evidence submitted. There is a small dark booth, a screen, a priest who has genuinely heard everything and remains, against all odds, unshocked, and at the end of it: forgiveness. Clean slate. Out into the sunshine. It is, if you think about it, the most efficient administrative system in human history. Far more efficient than the Finanzamt. Infinitely more forgiving. And the queue is usually shorter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eI Gotta Confess\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who is carrying a small but persistent spiritual to-do list and has not yet found the Tuesday to deal with it. It is also for everyone who uses \u003cem\u003eI gotta confess\u003c\/em\u003e in completely secular situations — before admitting they ate the last of the good cheese, before revealing they haven't seen that film everyone has seen, before disclosing they actually quite like the song they said they didn't like. The confession impulse is universal. The confession box is optional. The poster is not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🕯️ I Gotta Confess — a spiritual reminder, a secular admission, a very relatable situation\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸 Pink background, white typography — soft, forgiving, the color of someone who is trying their best\u003cbr\u003e\n💖 Pairs perfectly with the Guilt Is My Love Language poster and tote — the full Catholic experience on your kitchen wall\u003cbr\u003e\n🕯️ Perfect for lapsed Catholics, devoted Catholics, cultural Catholics, and anyone who has ever prefaced a sentence with ‘I gotta confess’ and meant it on multiple levels\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, like a clean conscience\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — responsible choices, which counts for something\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, significant admission\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no penance, no queue\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eGo when you're ready. 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Who knows that the cat does not love them unconditionally — the conditions are very clear, they are tuna-based, and they are non-negotiable — and who is completely fine with this arrangement because look at her. Just look at her.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🐟 The Cat CEO Loves Tuna — a corporate directive, a love story, a Shiri-approved manifesto\u003cbr\u003e\n🧱 Orange background, white typography — warm, bold, the color of a cat who has never doubted herself for a single second\u003cbr\u003e\n🐾 Pairs perfectly with the Cat Slave poster and tote — the full feline corporate experience\u003cbr\u003e\n🐟 Shiri-approved — personally reviewed by an actual Cat CEO with extremely high standards and zero interest in compromise\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the Cat CEO's gaze which reflects everything and judges accordingly\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — the planet matters. The tuna also matters. 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She paid the Finanzamt before she paid herself. She filled out the ELSTER forms at midnight because that is when the anxiety peaked and at least doing something felt better than lying there calculating how much she owed on income she had not yet received.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe made homemade mayo during the burnout. The GKV was not consulted. The mayo was excellent. The GKV sent another letter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd still she is here. Still building. Still invoicing. Still rising, like a sourdough starter on the kitchen counter — slowly, stubbornly, without anyone's permission and certainly without a subsidy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is not failure. 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Or where you are slowly, carefully, building again. You are not the problem. You have never been the problem. L'chaim — and may your next letter be a refund. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53039353430344,"sku":"6773aad2-6349-4024-b70b-83b991b20dc4","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/burnout_princess_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778302540"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-i-paid-for-this-smile","title":"'I Paid For This Smile' Poster — Beauty Is an Investment \u0026 a Payment Plan","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome smiles are genetic. Some are earned through good habits and flossing. And some — the best ones, the ones with real character — are the result of a very long treatment plan, a surprisingly large invoice, and the quiet, unshakeable knowledge that you did what needed to be done.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eI Paid For This Smile\u003c\/em\u003e poster is a monument to the modern woman who invested in herself the hard way. Not a spa day. Not a course on manifesting. 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Because you are still here, still working, still filing, still smiling — and now, structurally, the smile is guaranteed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour babushka smiled through everything with whatever teeth she had left. You smiled through everything AND paid a professional to make it structurally sound. You are not just resilient. You are resilient with receipts. And a very good dentist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it in your bathroom, where your smile begins every morning. Hang it in your home office, where you earn the money that funds the smile. 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You are fighting something real, every single day, with a smile on your face and medication in your bloodstream and a level of quiet endurance that most people will never understand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour babushka survived everything with whatever thyroid she had left. You are surviving everything AND tracking your TSH levels quarterly AND advocating for yourself in a medical system that took years to take you seriously. You are not just resilient. You are resilient with lab results. And a very good endocrinologist. Eventually.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it in your bathroom, where the morning medication ritual begins. Hang it in your bedroom, where the fatigue is real but so are you. Hang it anywhere you need a reminder that your body is not broken — it is fighting, and so are you, and you are winning, mostly, on most days, which is more than enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💪 Officially at war with your own immune system — and still showing up anyway\u003cbr\u003e\n🦋 Thyroid: attacked, defended, still functioning — barely, beautifully, defiantly\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸 Pink background, white typography — warm, bold, unapologetically alive despite everything\u003cbr\u003e\n☕ Pairs with your morning thyroid medication, a strong coffee, and the quiet fury of someone who has explained their illness one too many times\u003cbr\u003e\n🩺 \"But you don't look sick\" — hang this where those people can see it\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as unbothered as you have learned to appear\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — an eco-conscious warrior is still a warrior\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous fighting energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum defiance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYour immune system started it. You are finishing it. Take your medication. Drink the coffee. Hang the poster. You've earned all three. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53071719006536,"sku":"a1691078-1409-4393-921f-3fc81102d2d0","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/ab2528c5-49a6-4f80-8af7-3bd359bf1036.jpg?v=1778395045"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-babushka-cheesecake","title":"'Babushka Cheesecake' Poster — The Recipe Was Never Written Down. You Were Supposed to Watch.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNobody asked for the recipe. Nobody wrote it down. Babushka just made it, put it on the table, and watched you eat three slices before you even sat down properly. The recipe lives somewhere between muscle memory and mild emotional blackmail. This poster is for everyone who grew up in that kitchen. Or wishes they had.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe designer of this shop makes this cheesecake. Has been making it for years. Posts photos of it on LinkedIn, completely unironically, and watches finance bros and marketing directors lose their entire professional composure in the comments. \"Can you send the recipe?\" There is no recipe. There never was. You were supposed to watch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere is what we know: it is crustless. Obviously. A crust would be a distraction and babushka did not do distractions. It is dense. Cold from the fridge. Made with proper quark — not ricotta, absolutely not ricotta, ricotta is not invited to this table and never will be. And on top: canned mandarins. With the syrup. The syrup stays. This is not up for discussion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou serve it in a thick slice. You say \"just a small piece\". You give them half the cake. This is the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍊 Babushka Cheesecake — crustless, cold, canned mandarins, zero apologies\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 Black background, pink typography — the color of inherited recipes and mild kitchen authority\u003cbr\u003e\n🍵 Pairs with strong tea, someone saying \"eat, eat\", and a completely irrational amount of emotional attachment to a dessert\u003cbr\u003e\n🚫 Not with ricotta. This has been stated. It will not be stated again.\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, as patient as waiting for the cheesecake to set overnight\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — babushka wasted nothing and neither do we\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, generational weight\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises, no ricotta\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMake the cheesecake. Use the canned mandarins. Keep the syrup. Serve it cold. Hang the poster. 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It is for the person who bought the thing, felt immediately calmer, and has absolutely no regrets. It is for the one who understands, on a cellular level, that sometimes the most emotionally intelligent decision you can make is to add to cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is also for the founder of Joyful Objects, who turned every letter from the Finanzamt, every soul-crushing job, every bureaucratic nightmare into a product — and discovered that for her, retail therapy is actually shop therapy. The healing goes both ways. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🛍️ Retail Therapy — a legitimate coping mechanism, finally on your wall\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 Black background, pink typography — bold, warm, unapologetically you\u003cbr\u003e\n💳 Pairs with online shopping at midnight, a glass of something, and zero regrets\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, emotionally supportive\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — even the planet supports your healing journey\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous therapeutic value\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no waiting room, no copay\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAdd to cart. Feel better. Hang the poster. Repeat as needed. Your therapist would understand — and if they wouldn't, get a better therapist. 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There is always a form for this.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eFormularwahnsinn\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone who has ever filled out a form, submitted the form, received a letter requesting a different form, filled out that form, been told that form was the wrong version, downloaded the correct version, printed it, signed it, scanned it, uploaded it, and then received a letter asking why they hadn't submitted the form yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is for the freelancer who discovered that the Fragebogen zur steuerlichen Erfassung is just the beginning. It is for the expat who thought they were done with paperwork and then received an envelope. It is for everyone who has ever looked at a German authority's website and felt their soul quietly leave their body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFormularwahnsinn is not a word. It is a diagnosis. It is a lifestyle. It is a wall poster now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📋 Formularwahnsinn — finally, a word for what you've been through\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 Black background, white typography — stark, honest, halachically neutral\u003cbr\u003e\n📎 Pairs perfectly with Mailbox Trauma, Gaslit by Bureaucracy, Freelancing From Hell, and a very strong coffee\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, bureaucratically certified\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — even the trees feel your pain\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, infinite administrative complexity\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no forms required, no waiting period, no Bearbeitungszeit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHang it where the letters arrive. Hang it where the envelopes pile up. Hang it as a memorial to every form you ever filled out and never heard back about. You survived the Formularwahnsinn. This is your proof. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53090937962824,"sku":"5375466e-1dff-47d9-90ca-a1db41481de4","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/formularwahnsinn_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778677360"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-the-system-works-just-not-for-you","title":"'The System Works. Just Not For You.' Poster — A Public Service Announcement. From Personal Experience.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe system works. They have a website. It was last updated in 2011.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for everyone who did everything right — filled out the forms, paid the contributions, followed the rules, submitted the documents, submitted them again because the first ones got lost, submitted them a third time in a different format — and still somehow ended up owing money to an institution that owes them money. It is for the freelancer who paid taxes faithfully and received a Nachzahlung as a thank you. It is for the expat who registered, re-registered, and registered again and still got a letter saying their address was unknown. It is for everyone who called the hotline, waited 47 minutes, got cut off, called back, waited 52 minutes, and was told that this was actually the wrong department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe system works. Beautifully. Efficiently. Just exclusively for people who never actually need it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is not a bug. It is not a glitch. 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You were simply never the target demographic. You have the paperwork to prove it. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53096737767752,"sku":"0123d173-dd8b-4612-bac8-4b7edbc9ca37","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/the_system_works_just_not_for_you_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778738528"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-eat-sleep-repeat","title":"Eat Sleep Repeat. Poster — Consider This Your Official Permission Slip.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot a suggestion. Not a vibe. A legally binding document for your wall.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eEat Sleep Repeat\u003c\/em\u003e poster exists because \"live, laugh, love\" was never really your vibe — and frankly, it showed. You need something more honest. More you. Something that looks great above the desk where you definitely do not overwork yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for the woman who eats well when she remembers, sleeps deeply when she allows it, and repeats — because the body keeps the score and the body has been filing complaints for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it. Read it daily. Obey it occasionally. That is already progress.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🛏️ A permission slip, a prescription, and a gentle ultimatum all in one\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸 Pink background, white typography — soft on the outside, absolutely not on the inside\u003cbr\u003e\n🍕 Pairs beautifully with anchovy pizza, a fully charged vacuum robot, and zero guilt\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, FSC-certified, unapologetic\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous energy\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises, no Formular required\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eGive it to yourself. Give it to her. Hang it where it can be seen by anyone who needs the reminder. 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I have committed to this relationship at a size that can be seen from across the room, possibly from the hallway, definitely from the kitchen where the bagels are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the version for the person who already knows. Who does not need to be convinced. Who looked at the 13×18 and thought: bigger. Obviously bigger. The lox deserves the wall space and so do I.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHang it in the dining room. Hang it in the kitchen. Hang it wherever people gather to eat, argue about cream cheese, and pretend they are not going back for seconds. It will fit right in. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💛 50 shades — from barely-there blush to deep, smoky, unapologetic commitment\u003cbr\u003e\n🧱🖤 Orange background, black typography — the color of a Sunday that went exactly right\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with the All Things Mayo and Latkes product lines — obviously\u003cbr\u003e\n🚫 Still not with the pastrami. 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The kind that comes from animals and trees and the ground and has been keeping humans alive and well since before anyone invented a barista edition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eRage Against the Oat Milk\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for everyone following a Ray Peat-informed lifestyle — or simply anyone who has looked at the ingredients list on an oat milk carton and felt something shift permanently inside them. It is for the butter people. The raw milk people. The egg yolk people. The people who order coffee with cream and do not explain themselves. The people who know that full fat is not the enemy and never was.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is also for everyone who has been told their diet is weird. Who has watched someone pour oat milk into a perfectly good coffee and said nothing, out of politeness, while dying slightly inside. You know who you are. This poster is for you. Hang it in the kitchen. Let it speak for itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🥛 Rage Against the Oat Milk — not a phase, a lifestyle, obviously\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 Black background, white typography — as bold and unambiguous as your coffee order\u003cbr\u003e\n🧈 Pairs perfectly with Butter Is a Food Group, Eat Sleep Repeat, and Kicking Hashimoto in the Ass — the full anti-inflammatory wall\u003cbr\u003e\n☕ For Ray Peat followers, full-fat devotees, raw milk people, and anyone who has ever read a seed oil label and felt personally attacked\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, FSC-certified, no seed oils in the production process\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous conviction\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no oat milk, no compromises\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eButter. Cream. Egg yolks. Sunshine. Real milk from actual animals. This is the way. Obviously. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53110687236424,"sku":"6ada5521-ef38-4955-9590-6b3ca58426d2","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/rage_against_the_oat_milk_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778902806"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-butter-is-a-food-group","title":"'Butter Is a Food Group' Poster — Obviously. Pass the Butter. No, More Than That.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot a condiment. Not a treat. Not something to be used sparingly, guiltily, in secret, while pretending you meant to buy the low-fat spread but somehow didn't. Butter is a food group. It has always been a food group. Your babushka knew this. Her babushka knew this. The cow knew this. The only people who didn't know this were the ones who invented margarine in 1869 and have been causing problems ever since.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eButter is fat-soluble vitamins. Butter is conjugated linoleic acid. Butter is the thing that makes the spelt spaghetti worth eating, the eggs worth frying, the toast worth toasting. Butter is what your grandmother put on everything and she lived to ninety-three and never once read a nutrition label because the nutrition was self-evident and it was butter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eButter Is a Food Group\u003c\/em\u003e poster is for the Ray Peat people. The full-fat people. The people who cook with butter, finish with butter, and occasionally eat butter directly off the knife while standing at the kitchen counter at 4 AM because they are building something and the body needs fuel and the fuel is butter. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is also for everyone who has watched someone reach for the seed oil spray and said nothing, out of politeness, while knowing. You know. This poster knows. Hang it in the kitchen where it can do the most good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧈 Butter Is a Food Group — a nutritional fact, a lifestyle, a wall poster\u003cbr\u003e\n🌸 Pink background, white typography — warm, soft, the color of clarified butter in good light\u003cbr\u003e\n🥛 Pairs perfectly with Rage Against the Oat Milk, Eat Sleep Repeat, and Kicking Hashimoto in the Ass — the full Ray Peat collection\u003cbr\u003e\n🐄 For Ray Peat followers, full-fat devotees, babushka-informed eaters, and anyone who has never once felt guilty about butter\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, FSC-certified, made with zero margarine\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous nutritional authority\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no seed oils, no apologies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBuy the good butter. The salted one. Use more than the recipe says. Obviously. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53110688776520,"sku":"2bdd8cd1-c4ae-4819-9727-c7bc1af257cd","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/butter_is_a_food_group_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778903888"},{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-sunshine-sugar-salt-oj","title":"'Sunshine, Sugar, Salt \u0026 OJ' Poster — It's Not a Diet. It's a Lifestyle. Obviously.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSunshine. Oysters. Sugar. Eggs. Salt. Milk. OJ. This is not a grocery list. This is a philosophy. A metabolic framework. A quiet rebellion against everything beige, joyless, and seed-oil-adjacent that has been masquerading as health food since approximately 1970. This is the Ray Peat essentials poster and it belongs on your kitchen wall immediately.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRay Peat did not tell you to suffer. He told you to eat the egg yolk. Drink the orange juice. Get the sunshine. Add the salt. Eat the oysters when you can find good ones. Have the sugar without the guilt because the guilt is more inflammatory than the sugar ever was. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis poster is for the people who have read the newsletters. Who have the orange juice in the fridge at all times. Who add salt to everything including things people think you shouldn't add salt to. Who have explained progesterone to someone at a dinner party and watched their face. Who know that the carrot salad is doing something. Who eat the liver once a week even though it is an acquired taste and the acquisition took a while. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is also for everyone who is simply tired of being told that joy is bad for you. That butter is dangerous. That the egg yolk is the enemy. That sunshine needs to be avoided. That sugar is poison. Phyllis has opinions about all of this. The poster has opinions about all of this. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e☀️ Sunshine, Sugar, Salt \u0026amp; OJ — the Ray Peat essentials, on your wall, obviously\u003cbr\u003e\n🟡 Yellow background, white typography — as warm and unapologetic as a glass of fresh OJ at 6 AM\u003cbr\u003e\n🦩 Lists the full Ray Peat essentials: sunshine, oysters, sugar, eggs, salt, milk, OJ\u003cbr\u003e\n🥛 Pairs perfectly with Rage Against the Oat Milk and Butter Is a Food Group — the complete Ray Peat wall\u003cbr\u003e\n🍊 For Ray Peat followers, metabolic health nerds, OJ devotees, and anyone who salts their watermelon without apology\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, FSC-certified, zero seed oils in the production process\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous metabolic authority\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no margarine, no apologies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAdd the salt. Drink the OJ. Get the sunshine. Obviously. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53110743007560,"sku":"02c926b2-a52c-45b7-bbb5-d4ed0e7f68a1","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/sunshine_sugar_salt_oj_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778912073"}],"url":"https:\/\/phyllis-tulaszewski.com\/collections\/posters.oembed","provider":"Phyllis Tulaszewski - Joyful Objects","version":"1.0","type":"link"}