{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-matza-tastes-like-cardboard","title":"'Matza Tastes Like Cardboard' Poster — The Truth Nobody at the Seder Table Was Brave Enough to Say","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEvery year. Every Passover. Eight days of eating what is essentially a cracker that gave up on itself. And every year, everyone smiles and says \"it's not so bad\" and every year, they are lying.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eMatza Tastes Like Cardboard\u003c\/em\u003e poster is the honest friend at the table. The one who loves the tradition, respects the history, lights the candles, makes the brisket from scratch — and still, quietly, privately, admits the truth: matza tastes like cardboard and we all know it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is not a complaint. This is a love letter. Because you eat it anyway. Eight days, every year, without fail — because your grandmother ate it, and her grandmother ate it, and somewhere along the line this became who you are. Cardboard and all.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang it in your kitchen as a monument to the most honest thing anyone has ever said about Passover. Next to the sourdough starter you had to put to sleep for eight days (it did not rise like Jesus — it just waited, like a good Jewish boy). Next to the homemade mayo you made because at least that brings joy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e❖️ The bravest Passover statement since the Exodus\u003cbr\u003e\n🟦 Blue background, white typography — clean, crisp, and honest as a piece of matza\u003cbr\u003e\n🥚 Pairs beautifully with charoset, existential reflection, and homemade mayo on literally anything else\u003cbr\u003e\n🚫 Do NOT put cream cheese on the pastrami. We are watching.\u003cbr\u003e\n🍞 A tribute to eight days of solidarity with your ancestors and your digestive system\u003cbr\u003e\n🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth finish, nothing like matza\u003cbr\u003e\n🌿 FSC-certified sustainable paper — because the earth deserves better than cardboard too\u003cbr\u003e\n📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous cultural honesty\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum truth-telling\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNext year in Jerusalem. But maybe with better bread. Not with the pastrami. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52993725563208,"sku":"3bc7a366-f4dd-43c4-9c73-fcbd583a582d","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/matza_tastes_like_cardboard_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1778304113","url":"https:\/\/phyllis-tulaszewski.com\/products\/premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-matza-tastes-like-cardboard","provider":"Phyllis Tulaszewski - Joyful Objects","version":"1.0","type":"link"}