{"product_id":"premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-undersexed-like-virgin-mary","title":"'Undersexed Like Virgin Mary' Poster — A Temporary Lifestyle. Probably.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShe did not choose celibacy. Celibacy chose her. And she is making the absolute best of it. Obviously.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is a specific kind of woman who left the deeply orthodox circles, or the long relationship, or the situationship that was frankly more fasting than feast, and found herself in a season of life that the Church would call virtuous and everyone else would call a dry spell. She lights a candle. She goes to bed at 9 PM. She has excellent skin. She is not complaining. She is not not complaining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd then one day she decided to hang it on the wall and call it a lifestyle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is for the relapsed Catholic who still crosses herself out of habit. The recently single who has discovered the spiritual benefits of a very large bed all to herself. The one who left the orthodox circles and is still figuring out what comes next. The woman who decided that being undersexed is, for now, a perfectly valid temporary arrangement and does not require further comment from anyone. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUndersexed Like Virgin Mary is not a complaint. It is a diagnosis. It is a lifestyle. It is a wall poster now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🌸 Pink background, bold red typography — warm on the outside, deeply ironic on the inside, exactly like the situation\u003cbr\u003e🕯️ Pairs perfectly with 'Guilt Is My Love Language' and 'I Gotta Confess' — the full Catholic collection, the complete confession wall\u003cbr\u003e🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, unlike the dry spell which reflects everything\u003cbr\u003e📐 13×18 cm \/ 5×7″ — small format, enormous spiritual resonance\u003cbr\u003e✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no judgment, no sighing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHang it where you light the candle. Hang it where you go to bed at 9 PM with excellent skincare and zero regrets. Hang it where you remind yourself this is temporary. Probably.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou survived the dry spell. That deserves a wall. Obviously.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eL'chaim. Amen. Whatever applies. 💙\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Phyllis Tulazsewski - Joyful Objects","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53241197920584,"sku":"654c8d3f-9865-4987-9d4b-2e90eec9f6ef","price":24.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0956\/3481\/7352\/files\/undersexed_like_virgin_mary_poster_mockup.jpg?v=1780810217","url":"https:\/\/phyllis-tulaszewski.com\/products\/premium-matte-paper-poster-13x18-cm-5x7-undersexed-like-virgin-mary","provider":"Phyllis Tulaszewski - Joyful Objects","version":"1.0","type":"link"}