Sometimes I wonder if things will ever get better again. The past few years have been rough and I'm totally at the end of my wits.
I'm sick of all the fighting, struggling and somehow just surviving while the genuine feelings of joy and happiness have left me somehow on most days. Maybe it's only a couple of rough days and I see things much darker than what they actually are.
How full of hope and longing to enjoy a life rich in great things I was when I graduated from school. Looking at where I am now it feels like a joke and disillusion.
I'm usually not a complainer and also never one to put herself in victim mode. But lately I honestly struggle. It's too many wars on too many fronts.
But on the other hand my old life as a freelance teacher, I don't want that back either. Those transitional times are the hardest, the ones with big uncertainty when one phase of life has ended and the new one hasn't really taken off yet. But I'll get there. I continue doing what I'm doing.
And no one who has made it and is successful now living on their own terms hasn't been an overnight success either! We're fed lots of illusions and unrealistic goals and transformations while the real deal happens through doing the inner work. Through discovering where we shrank ourselves and stayed in comfort zones too long. No magical app, online course or whatever the gurus try selling will do the trick! But healing the inner core wounds and doing the unglamorous work, that'll do the trick!
With love.
Your fave babushka Phyllis 😘🪆
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