If you've been following along for sometime, you might remember that I've been dealing with tons of stress in several different areas in life. Health issues, a major burnout, dealing with awful bureaucracy, my financial existence and income got destroyed so I'm putting all my energy into creating a new income stream....
Needless to say that this can feel incredibly overwhelming and draining. As soon as i get back on my feet again, something else happens that I have to react to and I feel like often I step back before I can step forward again.
I just finally want to be able to calm down and feel peace of mind in order to focus solely on my online-shop and to create tons of amazing products for it. But unfortunately bureaucrats who obviously have too much time all week long, have nothing better to do than to gaslight me into oblivion. But I am done with that nonsense, I will now get legal help because I honestly can't deal with this any longer by myself.
And I have to say that I am pretty sick of always having to fight battles against all this government overreach which has been ongoing pretty much ever since I started freelancing back in the days. Now I am done with freelancing but still I'm doing my own thing with building that online-shop. And yes, if you are not an employee, you're obviously seen as evil by those bureaucrats and they make sure to make your life as complicated as possible.
But anyways, I'm not gonna give up. I keep on working on this amazing project and I won't let anyone or anything ruin my wellbeing any longer. Cause I'm done with this.
My mind is pretty much kind of spiraling and sometimes I feel like i just want to give up because I feel drained and my energy is very limited.
But I'm not a quitter. So I will focus on doing something that makes me feel well, take the steps and take legal action and then hopefully things start looking better again soon.
It's perfectly fine to reach out for help at a certain point once you realize you can't do it all by yourself any longer. I guess I should have reached out for help much earlier already but of course I thought I could figure it out by myself. But now I have reached the point that I realized my energy is limited and I can't figure it out myself anymore. That I need help now and then things will finally start looking better again.
If you're dealing with something similar, I totally encourage you to get all the help you can get. It is a sign of strength to be able to look for and accept help and also it means you're respecting your own boundaries instead of constantly overstepping them (which I did pretty much all the time until I was so burned out that I couldn'd do this any longer).
And yes, I might do some Spring cleaning today in order to clear my busy mind. A gentle ballet workout since this also is perfect to stop the spiraling and overthinking loop. The harder it gets in life, the more important it is that we treat ourselves with kindness and love.
With love,
Phyllis
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