Yeah smart phones are cool - but being available 24/7?! Is that so cool as well? I'd argue it's not. And I speak from experience here. When I was still working as a freelance language teacher, lots of communication with my students took place on WhatsApp. Needless to say that I was always available. And people-pleasing in order to accommodate the needs of my students. Even if their needs and my needs kinda mismatched. Hey, I had to make money, this was about my financial survival as well...
Actually today I put my phone into flight mode since the battery wasn't charging properly. I hope this is a one-time-problem so I don't have to buy a new battery. This would be annoying. Especially with an iPhone since I have to go to a shop so they put in a new battery for me since for iPhones Apple doesn't let you do it yourself.
I guess I am really on a digital detox trip now. This first started with getting back into reading physical books. Great move, I absolutely recommend you do the same. Then next thing I did was banning the LinkedIn app from my phone and that was the best decision ever. I am no longer a slave to posting a gazillion times and then waiting for the algorithm to give me insane dopamine spikes. The Instagram app I banned from my phone long ago and here I was also never looking back.
Also, I don't like being available 24/7. I am completely burnt out at this stage of my life. And this burnout has not just started in November. Truth is I've been burnt out last year in Winter as well. The worst part started in October 2024 and it only started getting slightly better in April 2025. But this honeymoon phase didn't last long. By the end of November due to insane bureaucracy, extreme financial struggles and other unpleasant things I ended up straight in burnout hell again. And I only really realized it about 2 weeks ago.
And I dare to say this burnout did not even start here - looking back it must have been around 2021 during the COVID-lockdowns. I worked a lot - even though I had the most horrible anxiety and panic attacks. Still, I didn't step back. I kept on working like a maniac. And then I continued even when my main income stream in early 2023 got destroyed. In 2024 that made me so desperate that I started working in a low-wage-job just in order to survive financially. I did this for about 6-7 months. I was treated like shit by people with maybe 2 brain cells, it was physical hard work and no wonder it severely burned me out then.
Yes, WhatsApp is nice but I don't wanna be available there 24/7. I'm happy to talk there once in a while but not all the time. This is draining me. I have no energy anyways, so trying to keep conversations going all the time...this doesn't help my healing journey. Also it reminds me of the worst stalkers I had who were so possessive that they felt they had the right to message me all the time and that they felt I am obliged to respond right away. Hello, I am not a chat bot?! If you want direct responses right away, then please go and text ChatGPT. I'm not an emotional trashcan for people who need immediate responses right away and then freak out if I stop responding. No one has that privilege to make use of my time through demanding constant ongoing conversations.
I have a life, I am busy building a new life since my old life fell apart and left me in shambles. I got sick because in the past I overstepped my own boundaries and needs, I burned out several times in the past few years and instead of stepping back and focusing on healing my body and soul I kept on pushing through. Now it's the first time in years that I finally decided to step back and to focus only on healing my body and soul. I don't have the mental capacity anymore to be someones armchair therapist. This is exactly one thing that got me into today's situation. Insane people-pleasing, not enough boundary setting and not seeing that I was already at the edge of falling apart.
And therefore I will from now on put my phone into flight mode a lot more than I ever did before. Those will be those small islands for me to focus on myself and my needs in order to get back on my feet again. Those will be the times I use to do something that truly matters to me like writing, creating my digital products, drawing painting and ilustrating or maybe just to spend an hour listening to music and doing absolutely nothing.
We as humans were not meant to be to be glued to a smartphone screen being available 24/7. This is extremely unhealthy. In the end we are slaves to big tech and apps like social media apps and messaging apps. I don't wanna be in this vicious cycle any longer. I wanna reclaim my time and my energy back and the smartphone is the biggest thief here.
I like to communicate with my friends - yes I do. But I don't wanna be available on social media or messengers like WhatsApp 24/7. This ruins my mental health even more than it is already ruined at this point at my life. I just can't. And now I will take back my power and energy through drastically reducing how and when I am available on this damn iPhone.
Thank you for reading!
XO - Phyllis
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