In the beginning, there was mayonnaise. Full fat. Homemade if possible. Unapologetic always.

The 'I Put Mayo On Everything' tote is for everyone who has made peace with full-fat condiments and will not be going back. Who puts mayo on their eggs without apologising. Who dips their fries, their vegetables, their life choices — in mayo — and feels, with every bite, that they are living correctly and in alignment with good taste and also basic common sense. 😂

The jar did not say light. The jar had standards. The jar understood that fat is not the enemy. Fat is the point. Fat is where the flavour lives, where the texture is, where the joy is. Fat is, frankly, correct. And the hard-boiled eggs drowning in your mayo salad — oops, of course we meant egg salad — know this better than anyone. 💙

It is also for everyone who grew up at their babushka's house where Salat Olivier was made with approximately one jar of mayo per person and nobody apologised. Mazel tov. It is for the post-Soviet childhood memory holders. It is for everyone who has ever been offered a light alternative and felt a small but significant part of themselves die. 😂

🥚 Black tote, white font — as white as your hard-boiled eggs drowning in mayo salad
🫙 Full fat. Always full fat. The light version is not a version. It is a warning sign.
🍲 Pairs perfectly with Soviet Brutalism, Salat Olivier, babushka memories, and Mayonnaise Saved My Life
🛍️ 100% cotton, reinforced stitching on handles — sturdy enough for your groceries and your condiment convictions
🧹 Machine wash warm (max 40°C), tumble dry low
✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises, no light mayo

Put it on everything. Carry the tote. L'chaim. 💙