She is not coming to the farmers market. She is not coming to the co-working space. She is not coming to the grocery run, the errand, the appointment, or anywhere else that requires leaving the sofa voluntarily. She has assessed the situation and determined that her presence is required at home, specifically on the warmest available surface, for the foreseeable future.

But her authority travels with you. On this bag.

The Purrfectly Unqualified tote is for the cat slave — the one who reorganised their entire schedule around feeding times, who lost half the bed to a creature weighing four kilograms, who apologises to the cat when returning home late, and who would not change a single thing about any of it.

Your babushka also had a cat who contributed nothing and was completely irreplaceable. The cat knew this. Your cat knows this. It is ancient wisdom, passed down through generations of extremely confident felines.

Take it to the supermarket where you will buy the good cat food because she gave you a look this morning. Take it to work where you will show colleagues photos of her doing nothing, beautifully. Take it everywhere she refuses to go, which is everywhere.

🐈 For the officially designated cat slave — the position is permanent and unpaid
🖤 Classic black, white typography — sleek, classic, appropriately serious
🐾 Pairs beautifully with the Purrfectly Unqualified poster and the Cat CEO series
💪 Reinforced handles — built for the weight of cat food, cat toys, and cat-related guilt
🛍️ 10-litre capacity — groceries, a laptop, and at least three cat treats
🧵 100% cotton — soft, sturdy, sustainably minded
🖼️ Large print area at front — bold enough to announce the arrangement
🧹 Machine wash warm (max 40°C), tumble dry low — she will not help. She never helps.
✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, maximum feline devotion

She runs the house. You carry the bag. This is the arrangement. It has always been the arrangement. L'chaim. 💙