The job market looked at all of it and said: no thank you. Obviously their loss.

Graphic design. Illustration. Copywriting. Storytelling. Coaching. Teaching. Several languages, fluently. DNS records. TXT records. Google Analytics in Shopify. Ray Peat inspired nutrition. Certified BAMF integration course teacher. Certified lash extension designer. The organizational skills of a small army. The dark humor of someone who has survived a decade of German bureaucracy and is still standing. Obviously. 😂

And the job market — specifically the German one — looked at all of that and said: we will get back to you. They did not get back. Obviously. 💙

So she built her own shop instead. Obviously the correct decision. Obviously. 😂

It is for the one who sent 200 applications and got 3 responses and all of them were for something she was wildly overqualified for.
It is for the one who knows how to do seventeen things extremely well and somehow that made her less hireable, not more.
It is for the one who stopped waiting for the job market to recognize her and started building something it cannot ignore instead.

'Absolutely Unhireable' is not a poster. It is a resignation letter to a system that never deserved her anyway. It is wall art now.

🌸🌿 Pink background, mint typography — soft on the wall, absolutely done with the whole performance.
😂📋 For the one whose CV is a masterpiece that somehow kept getting rejected. The system was not ready. Obviously.
✨🔥 Also for the one who is now her own boss, her own brand, and her own HR department — and is doing significantly better without the job market's input.
🤝 Pairs perfectly with 'Freelancing From Hell' and 'Gaslit by Bureaucracy' — right here in the Joyful Objects shop.
📐 13×18 cm / 5×7″ — small format, enormous vindication.
🖨️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — FSC-certified, smooth, non-reflective. As unbothered as she is.
✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no recruiters, no "we will keep your CV on file."

Absolutely unhireable. Absolutely unstoppable. Obviously. L'chaim. 💙