There are people who use ketchup. There are people who use mustard. And then there are the Mayonnaise Absolutists. The ones who know, with the quiet certainty of someone who has never once questioned this, that mayonnaise is not a condiment. It is a foundation. A philosophy. A way of life.

The Mayonnaise Absolutist poster is for everyone who grew up in the former Soviet Union, in one of those satellite states, or in Germany — where salads are drowned in mayonnaise, fries come with mayonnaise, sandwiches are built on mayonnaise, and the idea of eating anything else is not even entertained. You did not choose this. You were formed by it. And you have zero regrets.

Salat Olivier without mayonnaise is just sad vegetables. Fries without mayonnaise are a cry for help. A sandwich without mayonnaise is a philosophical error. You know this. Your babushka knew this. Her babushka knew this. This knowledge is ancestral and it is correct.

🫙 For everyone who grew up where mayonnaise was a food group — a non-negotiable
🌸 Pink background, yellow typography — just like your homemade mayonnaise, obviously
🥗 Pairs perfectly with Salat Olivier, fries, the Babushka Knows Best poster, and zero apologies
🚫 Not with ketchup people. We have been very clear about this.
🖼️ 200 gsm premium matte paper — smooth, non-reflective, FSC-certified, 0.26 mm thickness
📐 13×18 cm / 5×7″ — small format, enormous conviction
✨ Printed on demand — no minimums, no compromises

Spread it. Own it. Hang the poster. L'chaim. 💙